Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Sitting in the back seat....

My youngest son, Zach, has his drivers permit.  I can't believe the baby in our family is now driving!!  He will be 16 in June and I can't believe it!!  Once again, I'm reminded that I'm getting old:)  It's different this time around because he hardly ever rides with Scott or I....he's always with Cody.  At this rate, it's going to be really hard to get the needed hours of driving he needs with one of us before he can get his license.  I think he's only driven a couple hours total since he got his permit back in January.  When Cody got his permit, he always wanted to drive everywhere!  On the other hand,  Zach could care less about driving...he's just like his dad!!  I have to make Zach drive...he'd just as soon be a passenger.  It's really funny how completely different my boys are...but I love that about them!  

A few weeks back on Scott's birthday, we went into Columbus to celebrate and decided to have Zach drive us.  It's a 45 minute drive so we figured it's a good way for him to get some of his hours in.  I wanted Scott to ride up front because, to be honest, I was a nervous wreck!!  After the first 10 minutes of the 3 of us telling Zach what to do, Scott finally said, "Would you two in the back seat be quiet and let me work with him please?"  Can I just tell you how hard it was to sit back there and not say anything???  I had to bite my tongue trying to stay quiet!!  I know those of you who know me would agree that being quiet is not my thing:)  We did make it to town safely though....and, overall, Zach did ok.  We've decided that having all of us in the car was probably not the best way to work with him.  I think we made him more nervous....we're going with the one on one training from now on:)

That car ride reminded me so much of how I live my life though.  I told Scott I wanted him to ride up front and tell Zach what to do and where to go, but I just couldn't stand not being or feeling in control.  I know that, often times, I really struggle with wanting to be in control of things in my life, but the reality is that I can only control so much.  I can control my attitude and actions, but I can't always control tragedy or heartbreak.  Scott could tell Zach where to go and what to do, but ultimately Zach was the one behind the wheel and in control of the car...he just had to listen to Scott and follow his directions.  I believed for many years, through the tragedy and heartbreak in my own life, that God was to blame and I really struggled with trusting and "letting go and letting God," as the saying goes.  I can often worry about the things that I can't do anything about...the todays and the tomorrows of life, but I've since come to believe that no matter what happens in my life, God is with me in every moment and every circumstance.         

I realize that I need to continue to focus on riding more in the back seat.  I don't want to live in fear of what could happen today or tomorrow.  I can't control everything...no matter how much I'd like to.  I want to rest in the peace and assurance that God is with me and knows my every concern and fear.  

“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don't.” 

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