Sunday, December 4, 2011

Under construction...

Old shower

Bathroom before

When we moved into our house over three years ago, I wanted to remodel our kitchen and master bathroom and we're finally doing it!!  The kitchen wasn't a huge remodel...just new granite and a few new appliances, but the bathroom has been a bigger project.  They started tearing everything out of it last Monday (talk about a dusty mess!!), but should be finished by the end of this week...I'm so excited to see it finished and will post pics when it is!!  As is often the case it seems, once they got the wall torn down they found some problems underneath that needed to be dealt with before they could move on and finish the project (aka more money:).  Had we not had the wall torn down, we would have never known what was under it that could have eventually caused us problems.      

I got to thinking last week as the project began and this week as they are working toward finishing it  about my life and how it has, in many ways, resembled our bathroom remodel.  I know that may sound weird, but sometimes things like this come to me so I'm sharing:)  In the last several years of working through the many scars and hurts in my life, I feel much as though it's been a tearing down and  rebuilding process.  For over 25 years I built up walls so that no one could see that everything wasn't perfect in my life.  On the outside it seemed everything was great, while on the inside there was so much pain and hurt.  Breaking down the walls was a messy process to be real honest.  I didn't like who I'd become and was emotionally exhausted.  Just like when they were tearing everything out of my bathroom and found some things behind the walls that needed repaired before they could move on, there was much more in my life that needed fixed than I realized.  I had built walls so high and so thick that I didn't even realize what was behind them until I got real honest with myself and allowed them to be broken down.  It was a humbling and hard experience to go through, but in looking back, it had to be done so I could start the rebuilding process again.

The rebuilding process has been slow, but steady.  I'm in a better place in my life now because I chose to let the walls come down and get honest with myself about what was behind them.  I'd love to say that the remodel in my life is complete, but I'm still a work in progress and always will be:)  I will never be perfect and I'm ok with's a very freeing place to be.   I've learned that God is the only one who can heal the brokenness in my person or possession can do that for me.  I've been in the process of changing from my desire to please others,  to focusing on the One in my life who has changed me.  I want to live my life in such a way that God is pleased...not focusing on what once was that can't be changed or what others think of me, but how God sees me and loves me unconditionally.  So, in my countdown to 40,  the 8th thing I've learned from my past is that by breaking down the walls in my life and really focusing on fixing what's behind them,  I've been able to start the rebuilding process from a much stronger foundation.   It's been so freeing and I'm so thankful for where I am today!!   From now on when I see signs that say "under construction" it will be a reminder to me that I am:)

Wall torn out

No more wall:)

new shower tile...corner seat and nook

Love it!!

I'll post more when the bathroom is finished, but below are the kitchen pics....I love it!!