Tuesday, July 19, 2011

The time machine...

We had a great visit this past weekend with Scott's sister and family in town!  We ate (too much), talked, played games, and laughed a lot....I love times like that!  On Sunday we watched the USA women's soccer team play Japan in the World Cup game with our nieces, Joy and Gloria, who are 11 and 9.  We were all very into it and, obviously, disappointed at the outcome...there's nothing worse than losing to penalty kicks if you ask me!!  It was so cute though when Gloria (the 9 year old), after Japan scored their second goal in the last few minutes of the game to tie the game said, "I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and change the score so Japan wouldn't have scored that goal."  It was so funny and we had a good laugh, but I actually got to thinking about it later and what she said is sometimes how I feel about my life and my past.   If I had a time machine, there are many things I'd like to go back and change....or would I?

**I think about how different my life would be if I hadn't lost my mom when I was 12 years old.  What if I had stayed home that Valentine's night 26 years ago?  How would my life look today and how would it have had an affect on the woman I've become?  I know my mom would have loved being a grandma!  She loved children and I know she would have been so proud!  I see friends of mine and the relationship they have with their moms and I can't help but wish I had that too.  There are so many reasons I'd love to have my mom back.... BUT, on the other hand, going through a tragic loss has helped me to have compassion and understanding for other's going through tough times....it's helped me to learn to weather the storms of life and know that God won't give me anything that I can't handle....it's helped me to find amazing women along the way that I've been able to look up to as a wife and mother....out of a bad situation, much good has come!

**I think about choices I've made in the past that I'd like to go back and change.  I've done some things I'm not proud of and I know at times I can beat myself up by some poor choices with words and actions that I can never get back....BUT, on the other hand,  I've learned so many lessons from the mistakes I've made in my life and I've grown from them too....they've helped me to be less judgmental of others as we're only human and will fall down at times....I've learned that getting back up and dusting myself off and moving forward is what I have to do....I've learned to lean on God and to accept His grace and forgiveness in my life....out of some bad choices I've made, I can see the good I've learned from it!

**I think about how much more money we'd have saved by now if I'd have made some better financial decisions and didn't like to shop and spend so much:)....BUT,  on the other hand, I've learned that money and "stuff" can't buy happiness and that the people in my life who I love and love me is what really matters....I've learned (and am learning) about being content with what I have (this is tough for me:)....I've learned that having and making more money is not all about what it can do for me, but how I can use what I've been blessed with to help others....out of some bad financial decisions, I can see the good things that have come out of it!

The list could go on with things I might have done differently looking back, but the reality is that there are so many things that, if I went back and changed, might have kept me from learning all that I have!  I have so much to be thankful for TODAY...I don't want to waste time wishing I could change things that I never can....I'd rather focus on what I can do today and from here on out.  So, in my countdown to 40,  the second thing I've learned from the past that can help me in the future...

2.  I've learned that even through the bad things that have happened and mistakes I've made in the past, I can find the good that's come out of it and make better choices in the future.

Although a time machine sounds good in theory, if I were to change my past, I wouldn't be where I am today.  That's not to say if I were to go back I would do things the same way or want tragic things to happen, but I am happy to be where I am today and want to enjoy each new day that lies before me.  Thank you God for today...make it a great one!!


1 comment:

  1. Thank you for sharing. I am in the processing of accepting that I am not able to go back and change things, NO MATTER how much I want too. In my mind I use to think that I would be a better person if I had made different choices or avoided certain events. God has me where He desires me to be. He is using my experiences to help others. I am thankful for that. You gave me some things to think about.