Wednesday, August 21, 2013

What's next??

Well Cody is back in OKC for his second year in college and Zach started his senior year of high school.  A routine is slowly setting  back in at our home.  It's different once again though...and much quieter:)  There are times I really wish Cody had chosen to stay close to home so we could see him more, but every time I talk with him I feel confirmed that he's right where he's supposed to be.  He's having to make decisions and do things on his own without mom or dad being there to step in and rescue him...I guess that's called maturing and it's good for him.  Zach is excited for his senior year and I pray that it's the best one yet!  I've seen so much growth in him over the summer and am so proud of how he's doing!!  We spend a lot of time talking about his future and what he wants to do next year for college.  I just can't believe this is where we're at!

If I'm real transparent, my biggest struggle lately has been an overwhelming sense of uncertainty about what's next.  The realization that 1 year from now we will be empty nesters has hit me hard in the last few days.  20 of our 22 years of marriage have been spent raising our boys...I can't imagine our home without them around.  Being a mom has been the most rewarding thing I've ever done and I wouldn't trade it for anything, even with the frustrating times and tears:).

My prayer for my boys as they're making some big decisions about their futures is that God will be number one in their lives and that He will direct their steps.  I always have to be reminded that I gave them back to The Lord when they were just babies when I dedicated them in front of the church.  They were not mine to begin with...they are God's children...I've just had the privilege to be the one God entrusted them to.  What a huge responsibility we have as parents!  I've definitely not been perfect and have made many mistakes, but I hope the things my kids remember about their childhood are the things that make them better people.

So what's next??  I really don't know.  I've talked with many friends who say the "empty nest" is actually pretty nice.  I'm sure I'll understand that eventually, but right now I'm going to soak up the time I have left with Zach still at home (and the times I get to spend with Cody too:).  I know I'll figure out what is next in my life when the time comes.  I still have a year and I know how fast it will fly...I'm not going to miss it while dreading what's to come.  Here's to a great year!  Thank you God for my kids....I'm so lucky You chose me to be their mom!!

Friday, August 16, 2013

22 years and counting..."From Doctor's Daughter to Pastor's Wife"

When I decided to start blogging a couple of years ago, it took me forever to decide what to name my blog.  I didn't really know at the time what I was going to focus on with it.  I spent about a year leading up to my 40th birthday blogging about things I wanted to work on in my life, as well as things I have learned throughout my life so far.  I have to say that it was very therapeutic and I was so glad I did it.  It helped me so much to share my journey as well as hear from others who could relate to where I was in life.  Once I turned 40, I quit blogging much because I felt I didn't really know what else to write about...or maybe I had much on my mind to write about, but didn't feel like sharing this part of my life.  This past year has been difficult in many ways, but there has been much to be thankful for as well!  It has been a year of change,  as I know I've mentioned before, but we have settled in and are doing well.  I'm trying to prepare for another big change as Zach is going to be a senior this year and we're only a year away from being empty nesters:(.  

So, back to the title of my blog, "From Doctor's Pastor's Wife".  Why this title?  I remember my doctor dad sitting me down before I got married and talking to me about what it meant to marry a pastor.  He told me that pastor's didn't make much money and that I wouldn't get to live the same kind of life I had always known.  At the time, I really had no clue what he was talking about. I mean, after all, I was 19 and so in love...I wasn't thinking about money!  Once I got married and moved into a little one bedroom apartment and had to get a job, reality sunk in real quick!!  I couldn't just go shopping whenever I wanted to or ask dad for money to buy things.  We were just making ends meet with each paycheck.  Scott was working at a little church as  a youth pastor and we were....poor!!  Our first year of marriage was, quite 
honestly, AWFUL!!!  We had never fought before we got married, but we learned  fast how to have knock down drag outs!!  I tell you what....there were some UGLY days!!  

I remember many times just wanting to pack up the few earthly belongings I had and move back to Oklahoma.  Looking back, I think my pride kept me from doing that.  I didn't want all those people I just knew were counting the days till
our marriage failed to say, "I told you shouldn't have gotten married so young."  Besides that, I really did love my husband...I just didn't realize how HARD it was going to be.  I guess my young, naive self just thought that love would be enough to carry us through anything (how many of y'all are laughing at that statement?).  

We've come a very long way since then, now married 22 years tomorrow and two (almost) grown boys later.  It's crazy to look back over the years and see how things have changed.  My husband is still ordained in the church (and will always have a pastor's heart) with a Masters degree in Biblical Studies and he's now working toward finishing his PHD in Organizational Leadership.  He's a VP at a University and loves it!  I'm so proud of all he's accomplished!  I was able to stay home with our boys as they were growing up and now get to work part time and make my own schedule.  We live very comfortable lives and don't have to stress over money like we used to.  Oh, we've made many money mistakes and haven't always saved like we should.  We still have some debts to pay off and don't have our retirement fully funded, yet we've come so far!

So why did I come up with the title of my blog, "From Doctor's Daughter to Pastor's Wife"?  I mean, my husband isn't even a pastor anymore, right??  I guess it's because the things I learned while being a pastors wife have helped shape me into who I am today.  I've learned that money can't buy happiness, even though it sure helps to have some, RIGHT??  I mean, come on...I LOVE to shop and eat out and decorate my house and give, and, and, and!!  So how have I been able to go from being a doctor's daughter to a pastor's wife and survive?  I've learned how to shop for bargains, decorate on a budget, paint my house, make things, and much more!!  And the thing is, now I can't imagine doing it any different!!  I actually love to find a great bargain!!  I find it therapeutic and rewarding when I paint a room myself!  I love making things (Pinterest has changed my life!:)!!  Although I will always love the finer things of life, I now consider myself (mostly) thrifty:). 

**stop reading here if you don't like mushy:)

Scott and I celebrate 22 years of marriage tomorrow and, although we've had some difficult days, I'd marry him all over again (even knowing that i would be a pastors wife for almost 20 of our married years)😁.  I am so blessed to have him as my husband!!  As busy as he is with his job and his doctorate, he always makes time for me and our boys.  Growing up at Kanakuk camp, (Kanakomo for the girls), "I'm Third" was the motto.  The Kamp emphasized putting God first, others second and ourselves third.  This exemplifies who my  husband is!  He  puts God number one in his life and EVERY morning is up before the sun to spend time with Him, no matter how busy he is (and he is ALWAYS busy).  He definitely puts others before himself...not only me, but everyone!  I get coffee in bed every morning and he always helps around the house.  He truly wants to make me happy (and he does!). He is the best friend  to so many people.  Everyone feels like his best friend because that's how he 
makes everyone feel.  He is kind and caring to everyone he comes in contact with.  Those of you that know him can testify to this:).  Is he perfect???  No, but I think he's pretty close to it:). God has truly changed us and done an amazing work in our lives and our marriage in the last 22 years.  I'm so thankful and excited to see what the future holds!