Thursday, August 18, 2011

20 years of marital bliss:)

Scott and I celebrated our 20th anniversary yesterday!!  He took the day off and we went to the boys soccer scrimmages, had lunch, and then spent several hours at the Columbus zoo (yes, we love the zoo!!).  We finished the day at the Melting Pot with doesn't get much better than that:)  It was a great day!!  Our plan was to go on a trip like we did for our 10th anniversary, but Scott started his doctorate last month so getting away was not really an option right now:(

I don't think as a 19 year old bride I could even begin to think about where Scott and I would be 20 years later.  Scott always tells me that he no longer can blame my dad for me being high maintenance considering I've been with him more than half my life:)  We've been on quite a journey together though....from Houston, TX to Portland, OR to Nashville, TN to Olathe, KS to San Diego, CA and now in Mount Vernon, OH.  It's been an adventurous 20 years to say the least...mostly good times, but some hard times too... and all in all, "LIFE HAS BEEN GOOD!"

I love to hear the stories of how people met and fell in love!!  I thought I would share our story, in a nutshell, for those of you who love to hear them too.  This is how our rollercoaster of a romance began almost 22 years ago...

I'll never forget the day I met Scott (he says he won't either...he even remembers what I was wearing!)...I was a 17 year old senior in high school and he was a 22 year old college student traveling with the college quartet.  They came to a weekend retreat I was on with my church youth group in November of 1989 and that weekend forever changed the course of my life.  He tells me that when he left the retreat and went back to college, he told a friend that he'd found the girl he was going to marry.  I'm so glad he didn't tell me that till much later or I just might have run away!!  I was not ready to even think about marriage at that point in my life.  In fact, we still laugh about when he told me, just a few weeks after meeting, that he loved me and I didn't know how to respond so I just giggled like he was joking...needless to say, he waited a long time before he said that again:)

I remember him and a friend showing up the day after we got back from the retreat at my high school to take me to lunch...and he came around the next day too....and the next...and so on:)  A few weeks after we met he came to my house to meet my dad (this was my dad's rule for anyone I wanted to go out with:) and my dad basically told him that he seemed like a nice guy, but he was too old for his daughter and wasn't allowed to date me. Of course, as a 17 year old girl, I was not happy about this, but my dad was not going to change his mind so Scott and I spent the rest of my senior year basically just talking on the phone...ALOT...and, I'm not going to lie, seeing each other ever chance we could get.

Scott graduated college and I graduated high school....he went to start his first youth pastorate 8 hours away in Houston, TX and I went to Kanakuk camp in Branson, MO as a counselor for part of the summer.  Obviously, back then (that really makes me sound old!), we didn't have cell phones so we wrote lots of letters and talked on the phone when we could.  He even found a place that would deliver flowers to the camp on my 18th birthday (see pic below)!  This is when I realized that I was falling hard...and I got scared because I wasn't ready for that!!  I sent him a letter telling him that I just didn't see how things could work out between us considering he was so far away and ready to settle down and I was just getting ready to start college and definitely not ready to settle down yet.  I remember getting home from camp and there were thousands of messages (or so it seemed:) on my answering machine (remember those??  Haha!!) from Scott saying he wanted to talk to me about my letter.  We did talk and decided that he should come to OKC before I started college just to see each other and spend some (unhidden) time together...but it did not go as well as we had expected.  It wasn't because of anything between Scott and I...the two of us had a great time together.  It was just that my family was not very receptive to him being there, which made things difficult for us.
Flowers Scott sent me to camp on my 18th bday:)
Flowers Scott sent to my dorm my freshman year at SNU:)  Go ahead and laugh at my hair....I can't believe that was the style!!
I moved into the dorm at SNU the next week and Scott called to say that he was struggling and wasn't sure things could work out....we were just at different places in our lives (do you see a pattern here??:).  I agreed and knew he was right and we decided it was best to not talk anymore so we could both move on.  But a week later he called....I honestly don't remember the long talk we had, but I do remember him telling me that he knew what he wanted and was willing to wait on me until I graduated if he had to.  He said he would give me all the time and freedom I needed to date around and enjoy college.  I realize now, in looking back, that to him I was a "wild card" (if that makes sense) and that he took a risk on me and the potential he saw in our relationship (awww so sweet...bla, bla, bla:), when it might have been safer for him to go a different route.  Had he not been patient with me and let me have that freedom, it may not have worked out.  I remember going on dates and then calling him to tell him about them (he acted like he wanted to hear about it, but I know now that he really didn't:).  We talked on the phone for hours every night...our relationship deepened and he had truly become my best friend.  I would fly to Houston and visit every now and then on the weekends and by Christmas of my freshman year, I came to the realization that there was no one else I wanted to be with and decided to let go of the freedom I felt was so important to have only a few months earlier and allow myself to fall 100%....and I did!!

We were engaged the last day of Feb, 1991 (after he asked my dad and had his blessing btw:) and married on August 17 of that same year.  I had just turned 19 when we wed...I was so young!!  I know now, looking back on the last 20 years and reminiscing on how we fell in love, that it's all been worth it!!  We have two great sons who bring us so much joy AND we're still best friends and love spending time together all these years later!  I'm not saying getting married at 19 was wasn't!!  The first couple of years were hard and there were many times I really wondered what I'd gotten myself into at such a young age.  As well, there have been times throughout our marriage when we've hurt each other with our words and actions.  I've definitely not been the perfect wife by any means...I've said and done things that I'd just as soon forget!  But I believe that God knew what He was doing when he brought Scott into my life...Scott has modeled 1 Corinthians 13:4 to me.  I am blessed to call him my husband!!

So in my countdown to 40, the fourth thing I'm going to work on is being the best wife I can be to Scott.  He deserves it!!  I want to focus on being more giving and forgiving like he is to me.  He works hard to make sure that I'm happy and taken care of.  He still brings me coffee in bed almost everyday (I call that  good training:) and makes me feel special and loved.  He encourages me and makes me want to be a better person.  I pray that I can be that kind of person to him as well.  Thank you God for Scott...for bringing him into my life and for showing me what real love is.  I'm looking forward to the next 20+ years with him!!

Our 10th Anniversary cruise:)

20 years later:)



  1. I really enjoyed reading this story. It is so sweet and so evident of God's provision for you two. Where's my Kleenex box?

  2. My husband and I married young, too. We were both 21. I did not feel too young, and I don't remember our families telling us we were too young. We were clueless about some things (electric bills), reckless about others (buying an ancient, but cool, old car and driving it from California to Oregon and Virginia and Texas and back), and so poor (barely employed college students). I see now that our families didn't say anything to us about our youth and inexperience, because they were saying it to God. The prayers of our parents and grandparents carried us through our mistakes and the bumpy roads of life, and on, for 21 years and counting....!

  3. such a sweet story! i'm glad you shared!! love you guys :) michelle