Friday, February 3, 2012

Cleaning out the closet!!

Before....yep, it was bad!

Organized scarves
Clean closet....still have more I'm working on, but it's much better:)  And yes, that's a shoe bench that my boys recycled and gave to me for Mother's Day:)

My closet has been a ridiculous mess and it's been driving me crazy!!  Every time I go in there to look for something I'm tripping over things and digging in piles to find what I'm looking for.  I've been slowly, but surely, working on organizing it (like I always am), but it's kind of an overwhelming task to me.  I've been trying to get rid of things I never wear and find better ways to keep everything organized.  I am still working on weeding through my closet and finding more to get rid of because I KNOW there is so much I never ever wear!!  My problem is that, as I get rid of stuff,  I accumulate more!!!  Yes, I know how that's a problem:)  The good news is that I've put myself on a shopping budget (see my budget post) so I am not spending like I used too, which has been great for me.  I know that I don't NEED any more stuff...I just love shoes and clothes!!  The crazy thing is that I hold onto things that I think I need, when reality is, I'll probably never wear them again and I definitely don't need them!  

Why is it so hard for me to let go of things that I don't even wear or need anymore?    As I was in my closet cleaning, I started thinking about how I do the same thing in my life that I do with my clothes/shoes.   Whether it be relationships, hurts, anger or just stuff, letting go really stinks sometimes.  It's just not easy to let go of things, even if we know deep down it's the best thing to do.  I've been thinking about this a lot because it seems that lately I've talked to a lot of people who are struggling with this issue of letting go.  I know, for me, that this has been a huge struggle in my own life.  The reality is that, whether or not I need these things in my life or not, I may not really want to let them go.  Does that make sense??   I hold onto things that if I would just let go, it seems my life would be so much easier, but it's so hard to do sometimes.

The memory is a great thing in many ways and a curse in others.  I have so many wonderful memories that I look fondly back on, but I also have a lot of bad memories that I would just as soon I'm sure most of us do.  Wouldn't it be so nice to be able to hold on to the great memories and erase the not so great??   I would love to say that I have a great amount of peace all the time and only look back at the bad memories as a learning experience, but if I'm honest with myself (and y'all) that's not always true. I sometimes really struggle letting go of the junk!!  I've been hurt, either by people or circumstances in my life...some because of my own bad choices and some things beyond my control...and I've learned that I have to remind myself on days that I'm really struggling with these things, that who I am is not based solely on where I've come may be a part of me, but it doesn't have to define me.  I can learn from the past....and trust me, I have....but sometimes the pain and hurt linger.

The good news is that I've learned and am continuing to learn that as I let go of the things in my life that can keep me from moving forward, it is freeing.  There's a saying that I love and may have quoted before....Leave the broken, irreversible past in God's hands, and step out into the invincible future with Him.- Oswald Chambers   I know that God has been faithful in helping me with this area of my life and I'm so thankful!  Cleaning out the closet of my life is something I will have to always work on I know, much like my closet in my house that I'm constantly having to clean out. There are times when I'll put something in the Goodwill bag, only to get it back out because I think there's a slight chance I might wear it again....only months later to realize I haven't even thought about wearing it, and I put it back in the Goodwill bag.  It's such a good feeling to finally take the bags of clothes from my house to Goodwill and get rid of them. In much the same way, there are things in the closet of my life that I will put away, only to pull it out again and hold onto it for awhile until I realize it's not doing me any good to hold onto it anymore and I have to consciously put it away again.  I know that real peace only comes when I finally let go and take the stuff in my life to the throne of my Father and lay them at His feet.  I'm so thankful that I can rest in the assurance that in letting go, I can have a peace that life will go on and greater things are in front of me. 

I love that I can walk in my closet now without tripping over the's a great feeling!!  Cleaning out the closets in my life and letting go of the junk in it is a great feeling too!!  So in my countdown to 40, the ninth thing that I've learned is that holding onto things in my 'life's closet' can hold me back from finding true peace....and it's not only needed, but freeing!!   I'm going to focus more on doing just that!   

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