Can I just be real honest? I've found myself tired and frustrated in the last several weeks about what are, in the grand scheme of this life, relatively insignificant matters. Don't get me wrong, it's not all been bad...in fact, I just got home a few days ago from an amazing leadership conference in Green Bay with some of the most amazing people and then spent a few days in Chicago with a great friend. I came home ignited and excited about my business and all that is going on in it!! It's just that there are some little things going on in my life right now that have me a little frustrated. Now hang with me to the end of my post so you get what I'm saying and where I'm going...don't judge me yet:)
I hurt my knee running and am having to take some time off. For those of you who really know me....I love to run!! It's my release!! I feel so good after running and find it so therapeutic. It's been over a week since I've run and my knee is still waking me up in the night aching every time I move it:( I'm hoping it's just tendonitis and nothing more serious because I really want to run another half marathon in January. It's been over a year since I've been able to train or run a half marathon as I've been recovering from a hip injury. I was just feeling totally recovered and ready to start training when I hurt my knee. It's very frustrating to say the least!!
On top of that, Scott is so busy with his doctoral studies that I've been feeling a little neglected and sorry for myself...ridiculous, I know, but it's true. I've been used to him being around all the time and available to spend a lot of time with me (I admit, I've been spoiled:). This has not been the case in the last several months:( I'm trying (well most of the time) to be patient, but find myself getting frustrated about our lack of time (without his face in a book) together. I know this is temporary, but 3 years of this seems daunting to me right now. Anymore, I'm asleep when he comes to bed and when I wake up he's already been up for hours studying. Now, don't get me wrong, he does work hard at trying to make time for the boys and I. He goes to all of their soccer games and will go with me to the grocery store and things like that so we at least have a little time together, but it's just not like it was before he started his doctorate. He's more distracted and I know he has a lot on his mind with everything going on. It's been a source of frustration for me.
This week I started a Bible study with some friends on the Fruits of the Spirit. I got to thinking about what we were going to be studying in it and listed them out from Galations 5:22-23.... "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, peace, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control." I am realizing that right now we couldn't be studying something that I need more. I'm only on the second day of the study guide and I'm already being challenged in my daily walk. After doing my Bible study, I jumped on Facebook to send a message to my Bible study sisters and when I logged on the first status update I saw was a post to pray for a gal who's been fighting cancer, had a transplant and is now in the hospital fighting for her life. I clicked on the blog that was attached and found myself reading some of the posts about this amazing woman and her battle. When I came across the verse below, the tears started flowing and I couldn't help but stop and realize how incredibly selfish I can be at times.
"It is through adversity that we come to know God, His promises, His faithfulness....how else can we take joy in tribulations? Knowing this, He is there with us...in the midst of the fire...holding us in his dance and singing over us." Zephaniah 3:17
The little things in my life that I think are such a big deal and that I allow to frustrate me are really NOT that big of a deal! I do know that it's been during times of adversity that I have grown closer to God, but I think sometimes when things are going pretty smooth, I can lose sight of what's really important and significant in my life. My knee problem and Scott's doctorate are temporary things that will soon be better and over. Sometimes, I just need to be humbled before God and recognize all the blessings I have in my life and quit focusing on the insignificant things that I allow to frustrate me so easily. Things could be MUCH worse than what I'm currently dealing with. So the sixth thing I'm going to work on in my countdown to forty is stopping myself when I find myself getting frustrated with the little things and think of all of the many blessings in my life and then pray for someone who I know is going through the fire and needs a special touch. I'm so thankful that we don't have to go through the fires alone!