I got to thinking last week as the project began and this week as they are working toward finishing it about my life and how it has, in many ways, resembled our bathroom remodel. I know that may sound weird, but sometimes things like this come to me so I'm sharing:) In the last several years of working through the many scars and hurts in my life, I feel much as though it's been a tearing down and rebuilding process. For over 25 years I built up walls so that no one could see that everything wasn't perfect in my life. On the outside it seemed everything was great, while on the inside there was so much pain and hurt. Breaking down the walls was a messy process to be real honest. I didn't like who I'd become and was emotionally exhausted. Just like when they were tearing everything out of my bathroom and found some things behind the walls that needed repaired before they could move on, there was much more in my life that needed fixed than I realized. I had built walls so high and so thick that I didn't even realize what was behind them until I got real honest with myself and allowed them to be broken down. It was a humbling and hard experience to go through, but in looking back, it had to be done so I could start the rebuilding process again.
The rebuilding process has been slow, but steady. I'm in a better place in my life now because I chose to let the walls come down and get honest with myself about what was behind them. I'd love to say that the remodel in my life is complete, but I'm still a work in progress and always will be:) I will never be perfect and I'm ok with that...it's a very freeing place to be. I've learned that God is the only one who can heal the brokenness in my life...no person or possession can do that for me. I've been in the process of changing from my desire to please others, to focusing on the One in my life who has changed me. I want to live my life in such a way that God is pleased...not focusing on what once was that can't be changed or what others think of me, but how God sees me and loves me unconditionally. So, in my countdown to 40, the 8th thing I've learned from my past is that by breaking down the walls in my life and really focusing on fixing what's behind them, I've been able to start the rebuilding process from a much stronger foundation. It's been so freeing and I'm so thankful for where I am today!! From now on when I see signs that say "under construction" it will be a reminder to me that I am:)
|Wall torn out|
|No more wall:)|
|new shower tile...corner seat and nook|
I'll post more when the bathroom is finished, but below are the kitchen pics....I love it!!